Good day everyone. I hope you’re all enjoying your quarantine to the best of your ability, and that you are all healthy and happy. In an attempt to provide some enjoyment, I have thought of a couple things to write about loosely related to wrestling and entertainment. Essentially the same thing I’ve done with Star Wars, Mario Kart 64, and NBA All Stars. I have a couple other enjoyable things to get to in the near future, but for now, we’re diving into one of the greatest movie series to ever be created. The world of 007.

In 1962, Ian Fleming’s James Bond was brought to life in Dr. No. It was a tremendous success, and was immediately followed a year later by From Russia with Love, and another year later with Goldeneye. Sean Connery was the original James Bond, but in a series that is close to it’s 60th Anniversary, for very obvious reasons, they’ve had to bring in several actors to play the suave secret agent. Connery to Lazenby to Connery again. Then Moore to Dalton to Brosnan to Craig. It’s been a solid cast of actors throughout the series, each with their own specific versions of Bond. We’ll be exploring each one today, the characteristics of each actor's version of James Bond, and which wrestler best represents that version of James Bond.

An important consideration for Bond, is that each wrestler equivalent should be able to pass as a secret agent. For example, it’s not likely that someone with the size of Mason Parris is going to be discreet. Same can be said for Spencer Lee. Though I’m not questioning Lee’s ability to fight in close quarters, this person should fit into the traditional/average height and weight categories, which means that we are largely looking at 165-184/197. Also, Bond knows a great deal about a great deal. He went to school at Oxford, in addition to being a trained killer. I’m going to do my best to ensure these wrestlers come from high academic institutions, or at the very least have consistently demonstrated high levels of success in the classroom. Lastly, we want these wrestlers to be relatively non descript. So I’m not looking for Kyle Dake here. He’s had a ton of media exposure throughout his highlight riddled career. We are looking for dangerous wrestlers that wouldn’t be easily traceable. We’re looking for your couple time AA’s at best. Alright, that’s all the guidelines I can think of to this point. Let’s get started!

Sean Connery (Dr. No, From Russia with Love, Goldfinger, Thunderball, You Only Live Twice, Diamonds are Forever, Never Say Never Again) - Connery was the original, and set up the foundation for what all other Bond’s would try to emulate to some level. He was sophisticated, always a step ahead of the bad guy, drove fast, shot to kill, and was a big fan of Martini’s. Has everything from the Connery Bond movies translated well to 2020? Of course not, but what has translated over the past 58 years is Bond’s loyalties, which are to his job. With a legend like this, it’s important to find someone who will do Connery justice. Someone whose style is aesthetically pleasing, and translates across generations. With that being said, we’re going with David McFadden. The dude was an animal on the mat, and his style, like Connery’s movies, was action packed. He’d constantly attack, find new angles and approaches, and use his creativity to create chaos for his opponent. Additionally, Virginia Tech is a damn fine school. David McFadden is the choice for Sean Connery’s Bond.

George Lazenby (On Her Majesty's Secret Service) - Lazenby was only in the one movie, and was in the unenviable position of following Connery. You never want to follow the first, but that’s what Lazenby, to his credit, tried to do. He will never quite be appreciated for what he was able to do in what is a criminally underrated movie. He delivered lines well, was one of the more physically imposing Bond’s, and the movie was one of the more emotionally charged Bond movies (ahead of its time in that respect). For those reasons, I’m choosing Kevin Parker of Princeton. Kevin was a couple year starter on a tremendous Princeton team. He spent time at 184 and this season at 174, so he has the size and skill to fit into this spot, and Princeton is one hell of an academic institution. Another reason I picked him was that his older brother is famously an NCAA finalist. It’s always tough to follow that, but for these purposes, he fits all of the criteria needed for the Lazenby comparison. A beast on the mat, to go along with the criteria that Mr. Lazenby has. Discreet, tough, and appreciated by those who were really paying attention.

Roger Moore (Live and Let Die, The Man With The Golden Gun, The Spy Who Loved Me, Moonraker, For Your Eyes Only, Octopussy, A View to a Kill) - So Connery came back after Lazenby’s one movie to finish off his tenure as Bond once more (he’d go on to come back in the 80s as Bond one more time. He was like Jordan’s series of retirements). Anyway, Roger Moore got to follow Connery, and usher in the next 12 years of James Bond. He brought almost a slapstick comedy approach in his version of Bond. A version that coincided with the 70s, and weirdness of the early 80s. That being said, he is the actor with the most appearances as James Bond, and he still brought with him the charm, charisma, and confidence to perform as James Bond for as long as he did. He had some of the greatest Bond movies (The Spy Who Loved Me, Octopussy, The Man With The Golden Gun is a personal favorite of mine), and yet Moonraker is a tough one to get through. Moonraker was the James Bond attempt to compete with the success of Star Wars at the time. Anyway, we need to find someone here who can display longevity, charisma, and a career full of highs and lows. For this one, we are going with a friend of the podcast, Johnny Sebastian. Johnny’s career was long, and had a lot of successes while at Northwestern and Wisconsin. On our podcast, he displayed his confidence, charm, and ability to roll with the punches he had through his career. He controlled what he could (training and development of his craft) while dealing with the lows (injuries mostly), while earning a couple degrees from Northwestern and Wisconsin. Johnny Sebastian is the clear choice as best James Bond comparison for Roger Moore.

Timothy Dalton (The Living Daylights, License To Kill) - Timothy Dalton was awesome as James Bond. He brought a grittiness to the role that hadn’t been done to that point. The movies were more violent, had more nuanced plot lines, and were brought to life by a tougher, calculated, and more violent Bond. Problem at the time, was that people were used to the lighter and goofier version of Bond that Roger Moore had been for the last 12 years, so Dalton didn’t get celebrated like he should. Dalton was ahead of his time, because the Bond he played, was much closer to what Daniel Craig eventually plays in 2006, but the world wasn’t ready for it yet. So for this wrestler comparison, we need to find someone who was extremely gritty and tough. For that pick, I’m going with Max Dean of Cornell. He’s a bruiser. That’s easy to see in his style. Punching in underhooks, banging on the head, and making it very difficult for anyone to have interest in stepping on the mat with him. Cornell is clearly a strong academic institution as well. My only concern with this pick is that he’s too good. It’s possible that he comes in and wins a National Title at 184 next season, making him too noteworthy to transition into a secret agent, but I think his grittiness and ability makes him the right pick for this one.

Pierce Brosnan (Goldeneye, Tomorrow Never Dies, The World Is Not Enough, Die Another Day) - Goldeneye was the first Bond movie I had ever seen in the theater. The others were all released well before I was born, with the exception of the Dalton movies. I had seen all of them, and was already a huge fan before it came out, so it was a big deal for me to go watch this one, and I was far from disappointed. Brosnan was as cool and smooth as it gets. The most impressive thing about Brosnan as Bond, was that it looked effortless. He was just born to play the most suave and cool version of Bond that we had seen since Connery created the blueprint. So for this role, I’m going to need someone who makes being cool look effortless, but also has the academic track record. For this one, I’m going with Cam Caffey. That guy makes the slickest and most amazing takedowns look like it’s nothing. He looks almost disinterested at times, and then will all of a sudden be launching his victim across the mat. He checks the box for being cool without any indication that he needs to try to be. He is a beast. Also, he is routinely celebrated by MSU Wrestling (deservedly so) for his GPA and academic achievements, to go along with his high level wrestling. Cam Caffey is the wrestling embodiment of Pierce Brosnan as James Bond.

Daniel Craig (Casino Royale, Quantum of Solace, Skyfall, Spectre, No Time to Die) - For those that are big James Bond fans, this might be sacrilegious, but I think Daniel Craig is my favorite James Bond. Maybe he’s benefiting from the changes they’ve made to the series, making it more rugged and badass, but regardless, he’s there and he’s making it look good. He sells that he’s able to beat these people up better than most of the previous Bonds. He is able to pull off the subtle humor and one liners that you expect from Bond. He drives fast cars in cool parts of the world. All of it’s there. Just a badass dude doing badass stuff in badass movies, which for the first time since the early Connery movies, are now stringing the movies together with a large crime syndicate that he needs to bring down. It’s important that this wrestler comparison be able to represent the different approach that Craig brought to the role. The toughness and raw feel that Craig gets to display as the series changes direction. For that reason, I’m picking Jordan Kutler of Lehigh. So Lehigh is a good school, and as it turns out, Jordan Kutler is majoring in Technical Entrepenurialship (BS in Behavioral Neuroscience). Now I’m not sure what that is exactly, but I’m sure he qualifies as the scholar that we are looking for. Also, Kutler has a cool name. Daniel Craig is a cool name, and Jordan Kutler is a cool name. Not really criteria, but I thought it was worth noting. Jordan Kutler’s name just tells you that he’s about to kick your ass, but he’s going to look cool doing it. Kutler was twice an AA for Lehigh at 174, and earned NWCA First Team AA honors for this season as well. His wrestling is fierce, and direct, like Craig’s portrayal of Bond. It’ll be a bummer to miss out on seeing Daniel Craig in Bond movies anymore, and it’s a bummer that we didn’t get to see Kutler finish his senior season, but I’m sure this James Bond comparison makes up for it.

That’s it for now. Always fun doing these comparisons, especially on subjects that I enjoy. Regardless, I hope you enjoyed this exercise, and that my comparisons are acceptable for your liking. Make sure you order your vodka martini shaken, and not stirred (which is a strange distinction to have to make, because nobody has ever ordered a martini stirred), drive fast, and rock on.