Wrestling in a Galaxy Far Far Away

I’ve been binging Star Wars lately. With the recent release of The Mandolorian and the upcoming Rise of Skywalker in December, I’ve been making sure I’m all caught up on the goings on in a galaxy far far away. Seeing as I also really enjoy comparing things I like with wrestling, another thing I like, I thought I’d enjoy finding overlapping themes and characters from these two especially prevalent pieces of my life. If you are one of the people like Jordan Burroughs who have never seen the Star Wars movies (I bet he’d watch them if he knew that they were pure gold, considering that’s all he sees), then this likely isn’t for you. Don’t leave though, maybe these comparisons will inspire you to dive into a masterful universe that has continued to introduce me to stories, theories, ideas, heroism, adventures, suspense, and excitement throughout my life to this point, and I’ve been lucky to introduce my children to recently. I recommend both wrestling and Star Wars to people with the same level of enthusiasm, because both have brought me such tremendous joy. So without wasting too much more time, let’s get into this. The following is my best attempt at comparing iconic Star Wars characters with iconic Wrestling characters. Disclaimer, don’t read too much into these. My comparing your favorite wrestler with Darth Vader isn’t me hating on your favorite wrestler. Much of the story line is based on Vader bringing balance to the force, so he’s an important and super bad ass character. Dark side and light side don’t in any way reflect my affection for the wrestling comparison. Anyway, let’s begin.

Chewbacca - Let’s start with a beloved character. Chewbacca, or Chewie for short, is known largely as the co-pilot to Han Solo. Chewie is a wookie, which is a large, hairy, strong, and smart beast. He’s an excellent pilot, battle tested and proven warrior, and has been prevalent in 6-7 movies (by my count). That frequency is a reflection of a couple of things. First, he’s incredible and managed to survive so many of the many Star Wars. Second, people want to see him because he’s a beloved character. There have been many discussions of having a separate story line around Chewie, and the Wookies, and their background. Third, his diversity in the films proves that he can survive in air, on the ground, in space chess, in the snow, sand, and trees. So who in wrestling is beloved, loves space travel, is enormous, strong, diverse in their abilities, and awesome? Well, that would be Adam Coon. The Millennium Falcon is undoubtedly big enough to fit Coon, assuming wookies are around his size, and his diversity in styles (not sure if you’re aware but he’s good at Folkstyle, Freestyle, and Greco) make him the obvious choice here. Adam Coon would likely beat you in space chess, and it’s equally likely that if you beat him he would not rip your arms out of your sockets. What’s important here, is that he could, much like Chewbacca.

Han Solo - Oh this one could be tough. Han is a smuggler, he’s one of the greatest pilots in the galaxy (if not the greatest), he’s charismatic, he’s loyal, he’s brave, and he’s a bad ass (this becomes a theme for just about all of these characters. From this point forward, even if I don’t mention that they are bad ass, it’s safe to assume that they are). Even if you don’t know Star Wars, you know Harrison Ford, who plays Han Solo, who is also many of these things that describe Solo, so we’ll have to find someone who embodies all of these traits naturally, and not just some of the time. Including the effortless ability to seem cooler than you are. I think I’m cool, but I’m not Han Solo/Harrison Ford cool. I have to try. That being said, I think I may have a strong candidate for this role. Pat Popolizio. Big fan of both Solo and Popolizio, and both of them have uniquely recognizable names. What he was able to do with Bloomsburg while coaching there and what he has done since with NC State is equivalent in my eyes to Solo doing the Kessel run in less than 12 parsecs. Not to mention that Pat has been doing the Wolfpack Wrestling Podcast on Jason Bryant’s Mattalk Podcast Network, which often highlights his charisma and loyalty to his team. Not to mention that he’s clearly an accomplished and brave wrestler himself. Effort has never been in question for Popolizio, but one thing he doesn’t appear to put much effort into is his ability to seem cool, so clearly that makes this comparison fairly direct. 

Obi Wan Kenobi - I think this is the last “good” character I’ll do for a minute, but he’s certainly an important one to touch on. Obi Wan is far more knowledgeable than he gets credit for. It’s too bad that our initial introduction to him is as old Ben Kenobi, and he’s (spoiler alert) killed by Vader like right after that. Then we have to watch those rough prequel movies to see how awesome he can be, but after dueling both Darth Maul and Anakin with favorable results, and see what he sacrificed (half of a lifetime on Tatooine, just kind of chilling in the desert, waiting for things to happen) to help the remaining Jedi and start the next generation of the rebellion, it’s clear that he was undoubtedly one of the best Jedi of all time. His legacy lives on in two major functions in these films with the Skywalker children, and their development. This may seem like a rough comparison, but I just can’t stop thinking of Dan Gable as the best Obi Wan comparison. He’s devoted to the sport (the force) above all else. He clearly has a favorite team and association (the light side/Iowa) that he’s helped develop. He’s developed and grown what remains a strong faction of coaches (Jedi) continue to promote the sport and to increase the quality of the college and international wrestling product throughout the United States. It’s not discussed enough, but the series of coaching trees that stem from Gable have created a ripple effect throughout college wrestling, much like Obi Wan’s ripple effect through the Jedi Order.

Darth Vader - This one can get very complex. He’s as iconic a character it gets in pop culture, as far as villains go. Then you think of his time as Anakin, so essentially the first 25 years of his life, but you can’t talk Vader without Anakin, which I feel it’s important to include here. So on the one hand you’ve got the prequel movies, with the naive and ambitious Anakin, who makes terrible decisions but shows such tremendous promise. Then on the other hand, you have the “finished” product of Vader, who is a certified killer. He is orders planets to be destroyed, chokes people with the force from across the room, and strikes fear into the hearts of those who dare oppose him. In addition, he was a spectacular pilot, a tactician with a lightsaber, and was the greatest and most powerful Jedi in the galaxy for years! Then he goes and restores order to the force by killing (did he?) The Emperor, fulfilling his prophesy, leading to his own death. So how do we take 6 films of what we know about this character, and attach them to a wrestler? You know who else was a prodigy? Mark Hall. I remember hearing about him before ever seeing him wrestle. Heard about a kid from Michigan who was going to Kentucky to wrestle for a year so he could be eligible to win a State title while in Middle School. Then he won it, and went to Minnesota to get better competition, and win 5 more state titles. Then I started seeing him competing, and dominating, and winning, and a Flo film about him, and always in super sweet old school wrestling shoes. The occasional loss to seniors at national tournaments, but for the most part, his record was as unblemished as it gets. I mean, even Anakin had a loss to Count Dooku along the way right? Then we get to the big leagues, College. He takes a loss out of the gate, but “strikes back” with a national title along the way. Mark Hall is a two time Junior World Champ, and has so far placed 1st, 2nd, 2nd, at the NCAA tournament. He’s strangely as underrated as wrestlers go in my eyes these days, and he’s still the favorite in most circles right now to win 174. It’ll be cool to see if he’s able to fulfill his prophecy, and restore order to the force with one last win in college to cap off a truly outstanding career.

Mace Windu - Samuel L Jackson is one of the bright spots of the prequel series. What is otherwise tough to watch, at least involves Jackson delivering lines in only the way that he can, and involves a cool purple lightsaber. Interesting fact, the only reason he had a purple lightsaber was because SLJ asked to have one so he could immediately find himself on screen. That’s the sort of power and cool that SLJ has. What you may not know about Windu is that he is known throughout the galaxy as the most dangerous Jedi with a lightsaber ever (or certainly one of the top 3 ever). We do see him deflect blaster shots before decapitating Jango Fett, which was dope, but that’s it. Anyway, it’s that level of skill and galaxy wide fear and reputation that has me placing John Smith as the comparison. That low single that he won so many gold medals with was his purple lightsaber. He would just go out there, people knew it was coming, and it would just happen to them. I feel like that’s what would happen with Windu in battle. They know the lightsaber is coming, and then your ankle is gone. Once you walk on the mat with John Smith, the inevitable was going to happen. He was going to win, and you were going to lose, and everyone knew it.

The Emperor - Physically grotesque, but immensely powerful. Manipulated his way from Senator Palpatine, into Chancellor Palpatine (who was super ready to give power back to the democratic party as soon as it was sage to do so), into the person who independently ruled the first galactic empire. Sure he had Vader as his sidekick, and “second in command”, but he was the one holding all the final decision making power, and very sparingly empowered anyone else in the Empire with any real authority. Lets look at things through his yellow jaundice eyes for a minute though. He, as many Sith Lords do, overthrew his own Master to become the final remaining Sith Lord, which is a thing they do, and became the most powerful Sith alive. He had many apprentices throughout his time, and was able to mastermind this plot to destroy all the Jedi and take over the galaxy. That was incredible. So with those positives in mind, I’m going to say that the Emperor is Tom Brands. Tom has done a masterful job at preparing other apprentices (Metcalf, St. John, McDonough, Mark Perry, Dennis, Ramos, etc…) to develop into great Jedi/Coaches themselves. Also, the Hawkeyes are black and gold, and the Emperor wears plenty of black, so I imagine he’s a fan. Seems like as close a comparison as we’ll get here.

Yoda - As beloved a character as you can have in this universe. We are introduced to Yoda as the eccentric creature on Endore. He eats Luke’s food, hits R2 with his cane, and asks goofy questions. Then it flips, and we see he’s the last remaining Jedi, a master of using the Force, and begins training Luke. In the prequels we get to see his agility and lightsaber skills as well. He’s well respected by his peers, feared by his enemies, and beloved by people who see him. I don’t really know who else in the wrestling community could fall into this other than J’Den Cox. He’s as agile as it gets, so this is like young Yoda, like 500-600 year old Yoda. Also, appears to be wise beyond his years. I don’t doubt that J’Den will continue to be a great ambassador for the sport, as Yoda was for the Jedi through his years, and even as a Force Ghost after his death. J’Den has been to four Olympic/World Championships, and has 2 bronze medals, and 2 golds, so it’s safe to say he’s respected and feared by peers and opponents alike. Do or do not do, there is no try. Those seem like words J’Den subscribes to.

Princess Leia - Fearless, loyal, a leader, cool hair, and lethal. She is introduced to us by talking trash to Vaders face, as well as going through torture and imprisonment without giving the real location of the rebel base. She (spoiler alert) escapes, helps destroy two death stars, fights alongside Ewoks, Jedi, and commands several armies, and was always loyal to the cause. This sounds to me a lot like Adeline Gray, who has been as dominant as you can be on the world stage, an ambassador for Women’s wrestling. Princess Leia and Adeline both embody the courage and leadership that has made both of them undeniable figures in their respective spaces (pun intended).

Rey - The lead character in the most recent trilogy. She’s clearly very strong with the force, and has immediately become a favorite character in the show. Whether she is winning the trust (SPOILER ALERT) of Luke Skywalker to get him to train her to use the force, or speaking telepathically with Kylo Ren, who appears to be her dark side counter part, she’s wielding these powers that she is great with, but hasn’t appeared to scratch the surface yet. In watching the trailer, I’m really excited to see how she’s continued to develop and refine her skills, and how that’s going to manifest itself in what will surely be an epic battle with Kylo Ren. Jacarra Winchester is the wrestler who best embodies these traits. I was coming back to the hotel from a wedding reception and getting ready to go meet the rest of my friends when I quickly brought up the World Team Trials on my phone last summer to catch Winchester beating Becka Leathers in the finals. Leathers was a returning World Bronze Medalist at the time, so it appeared to be an upset in the moment. That year, Winchester was a reversed call away from wrestling for Gold, and narrowly lost her Bronze medal match. The next installment of the world championships, she beat Japan in the finals (General Snoke, if you will), but doesn’t seem to have reached her ceiling. As evidenced by showing up the following morning to practice and continue to train. Like Rey, Jacarra Winchester takes no days off.

Kylo Ren - My first impression of Kylo Ren, was that I didn’t like him. He seemed like a whiny kid, who was trying desperately to imitate Darth Vader (which Snoke called him out for), but didn’t have anywhere near the maturity that old Vader had (to be clear, young Vader was equally immature, and not great at dealing with his emotions). Despite this character flaw, he had more raw power than Luke Skywalker had ever seen in a young man. Being the son of Han and Leia (a Skywalker) certainly meant that he’d inherit the family trait of being strong with the force. Kylo Ren appears to become stronger and more focused as he finds a counterpart to push him to be as great as he can. Snoke took him as far as he could go, and he had to kill him to continue his training and to try to take over the Galaxy with Rey, which of course was turned down. Kylo Ren is undoubtedly as powerful a Jedi as we’ve seen in these series, and I’m sure having a rival to push him will help him grow stronger. Kylo Ren’s comparison, as I write this, is Austin DeSanto. I can’t think of anyone else who better fits this profile. We all know the lapses in maturity he displayed early on in his career, and then he felt he had reached his limits with Drexel (Snoke in this analogy), and had to move on. Now he’s being pushed by his counterparts, and clearly has continued to progress and his powers are becoming stronger and stronger. It’ll be compelling to see how each of their stories end.

This concludes another exciting walk through wrestling and pop culture. I wish there was a way for you to have read this through the crawl, like in the beginning of a Star Wars movie, but sadly we don’t have the technology to do that yet. Just BLOODROUND in giant letters, and the score done by John Williams as an accompaniment to your reading pleasure. Until then, I hope this will suffice. Rock on.